Whenever I look at this photograph, I get this sense of freedom. To walk up to the edge with my arms out, head held high, eyes closed, lean forward and free fall. The thought cross my mind when I took this picture. Being on top of the building in a nice clear day with a small breeze, looking down at the street seems to do that sometimes. Is it a suicidal tendency, a need for freedom or a need for an adrenaline rush?

When I took this picture, I was definitely in a need of an adrenaline rush. When your up there, for the split second when you have your eyes closed and wind blowing, not knowing whether or not you will fall forward is truly a rush. Just to feel completely alive again. I've been through some trying times of late and that feeling would of been a breath of fresh air. A feeling that I haven't had in a long time. Is it because I've matured since then. I haven't felt like that in a long time. Is this the same person who been knocked around the head so many times he couldn't even remember? Is this the same person that was shot at no more than ten feet away? Is this the same person that hung out the window of a car going 90 km/hr? Is this the same person that went para-gliding?

I haven't felt that sort of rush in a long time. But why haven't I been taking those types of risk anymore? There were so many things I wanted to do or accomplished that I have yet to. Things that the old me would of done in a split second without a second thought. I still have yet to get my motorcycle license, go bungee jumping, and skydiving to name a few. I realized that the reason of me feeling dead inside has nothing to do with the lack of excitement in my life. But I've also realized that with everything that's going on in my life a little of craziness might actually help.